When I am Dictator – A Proclamation

At the peremptory need and desire of a large majority of the citizens of these United Kingdoms, I, Martin Crookall, formerly of Burnage, Manchester, and now for the last 22 years and 8 months past of Reddish, Stockport, declare and proclaim my intent to appoint myself Dictator of these U. K.; and in virtue of the authority thereby in me to be vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different Kingdoms and Principalities of the Union to assemble in Edgeley Park, of this town, on the date of my ascension to be declared, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.

A list of such amendments shall be from time to time published hereunder for the greater good of these lands.

When I am Dictator, my first act will be to have Jeremy Clarkson shot at dawn. Unless I take over in the afternoon, in which case I will have him shot at tea-time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.