How Not To…

I would make a crappy stalker.

In the last couple of months, a new team of part-timers have started work in my Centre. They do evening shifts, until 9.00pm, which is when I usually finish, and work in a different area of the business from me.

One of them is an attractive blonde, free from rings on the third finger of her left hand, who looks really good and, as far as you can judge these things from someone’s face, looks like someone it would be nice to know. She’s also not so young that it would be completely unbelievable that she’d talk to me.

So far, we haven’t spoken. Since she comes in so much later than my team, there’s no way I can arrange to be sat where she’s in my line of sight: most of the time, I could only see her by making it embarrassingly obvious that I’m making the effort to do so. The only time I’ve actually sat near her, she was directly behind me!

In the absence of even the smallest opportunity to bump into her and start a casual conversation, I’ve been wondering how to manufacture the opportunity. I am not good at these sort of things.

One thing I have considered is that, when we log in to a terminal at the start of our shifts, the screen automatically displays the ID of the last person to use that computer. If I were to start my shift at the terminal she was using the previous evening, I would – quite legitimately, and in no creepy way whatsoever – be able to learn her name at least. I thought of this last night.

This morning, I arrived early, picked a terminal on the row my team was occupying, switched on and logged on. After I had input my ID, and was waiting for the screen to apply my personal settings, I suddenly realised. THIS is where she was sat last night. And I typed over her log-in without a second thought.

I am SO shit at this stalking business.

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