I love all my customers dearly, and daily I pull my tripe out to get their problems with telephone and broadband not working, or not working properly, fixed with the least possible delay and give them good, accurate and honest estimates of how long things will take. I am on their side. I am here to fix their faults. I am here until 9.00pm nearly every night of the week so as to be available to them when they are free.
As I said, I love all my customers but I certainly don’t like all of them. I don’t like the ones who act as if I am personally, deliberately, maliciously responsible for the Broadband not having worked fast enough for the last three hours and that I am deliberately inconveniencing them further by refusing to get an Engineer out this afternoon to fix the telegraph pole that’s just been knocked down by a lorry, or that I have conspired to ruin their telephone line, or that it is my fault they’ve waited in all afternoon for an Engineer – who doesn’t even work for my company, who’s been contracted to do a job for us – actually decided to close the case three and a half hours before the appointment slot, because his test passed (my bloody test passed, you idiot, you’re going out to find out what is wrong despite the test passing) except he’s not going to tell anyone, not the customer, not us, that he’s no longer going out.
I don’t like the ones who treat me as if I have no idea what it is like to live with the soul-sucking agony of their Broadband connection not being fast enough to livestream Netflix, who act like they’re the only persons in the Universe ever to have suffered a Broadband disconnection and nobody can possibly guess what it is like for them, and that we are deliberately making things worse for them by the fact that it takes a couple of days to send them a replacement router, and we don’t have them tucked into our back pockets, ready to run down to the bus stop, or our cars, to drive half the length of the country to deliver the replacement there and then.
When I get a succession of customers like that, I question my purpose, I question my sanity, I question my ability to function without a screaming rant.
This is a screaming rant.
I feel a bit better now.
Don’t be that person if you phone me. I am on your side after all.